In our last post, we began unpacking what anxiety really is—not something to be cured, but something to be understood and worked with. We talked about the natural survival response, the role of fear, and how quickly the body reacts without our conscious awareness.

Now, let’s take a step further.

Because before we can change anything—before we can regain a sense of control—we need to become consciously aware of how anxiety shows up in us.


🧠 Why Awareness Is the First Step to Change

If you’ve lived with anxiety for a while, it may feel like it runs the show. One minute you’re fine, the next minute your heart is pounding, your thoughts are racing, and you’ve convinced yourself something terrible is going to happen.

That’s not weakness—that’s your nervous system doing what it’s been trained to do.

But here's the good news: you can retrain it. And it starts by observing, not reacting.


🔍 Becoming the Observer: Noticing Without Judgement

Most of us respond to anxiety by either:

  • Trying to push it away
  • Trying to fix it immediately
  • Telling ourselves we’re overreacting

But what if, instead, you got curious?

Try asking:

  • What triggered me just now?
  • What thoughts came up first?
  • What physical sensations followed?
  • What was my behaviour response?

Write it down. Say it out loud. Notice it like a scientist—not like a critic.

The moment you observe your pattern, you begin to interrupt it.


📈 Your Unique Anxiety Blueprint

Every person has their own “anxiety blueprint.” That’s the set of thoughts, sensations, and behaviours that show up when you’re under stress.

For example:

  • Trigger: Someone cancels plans
  • Thought: “They don’t like me.”
  • Sensation: Tight chest, racing heart
  • Behaviour: You withdraw or lash out

Recognising your own cycle helps you start to untangle it.

You’re not “crazy.” You’re responding to learned signals.


🔄 Let’s Revisit the Stress Response Stages (with Awareness)

Let’s recap the stages we covered last time—now through the lens of conscious observation:

  1. Trigger: Something happens (real or perceived threat).
    • Ask: What just happened? How did I interpret it?
  3. Hormonal Response: The body floods with adrenaline and cortisol.
    • Ask: What am I feeling physically right now? Where do I feel it in my body?
  5. Patterned Reaction: You respond in your usual way (fight, flight, freeze, fawn).
    • Ask: What did I do? What did I say to myself? What action did I take (or avoid)?
  7. Recovery or Residue: Do you come down—or carry the fear forward?
    • Ask: Did I recover? Or am I still carrying the tension hours or days later?

Writing down these patterns over time creates a map—and where there’s a map, there’s a way out.


🧰 A Gentle Practice: Name, Normalise, Nurture

Here’s a simple tool to begin shifting your relationship with anxiety.

1. Name it:

“I notice my heart is racing.”
“I’m feeling anxious right now.”

Naming what you’re feeling takes power away from it.

2. Normalise it:

“This is a normal response to stress.”
“My brain is trying to protect me, even if it’s misreading the threat.”

This helps reduce the shame spiral.

3. Nurture yourself:

“What do I need right now?”
“Can I take a moment to breathe, move, or pause?”

You’re not “failing”—you’re healing. One tiny response at a time.


💡 Awareness Is Not Control—Yet

Let’s be honest: simply noticing anxiety doesn’t make it vanish.
But awareness is the beginning of control. It’s the first step away from automatic reactions and toward intentional responses.

As we go forward in this series, we’ll explore tools and strategies to:

  • Gently retrain the nervous system
  • Develop recovery rituals
  • Strengthen emotional regulation
  • And reshape those deeply ingrained anxiety responses


⚠️ A Note on Neurodivergence

If you’re neurodivergent (ADHD, ASD, etc.), your stress and anxiety responses may look or feel different—and that’s valid. You may be hypersensitive to sensory input, experience emotional dysregulation, or have difficulty identifying triggers.

We’ll be exploring neurodivergent-specific strategies in a future blog, so stay with us.

You are not too much. You are not broken. You’re wired differently—and you deserve care that honours that.


💬 Final Thoughts

You don’t have to fight anxiety like it’s the enemy. You can learn to observe it, understand it, and gradually shift the power dynamic.

So, for now:

  • Get curious.
  • Take notes.
  • Breathe deep.

And know this: every time you pause to notice your anxiety instead of react to it, you're winning a little battle in the bigger picture of reclaiming your mind.

We’re in this together.